pledge

i've had max of 3-4 hours of sleep each night for the past 4 nights. This week has been the busiest week of my life. I'm serious. It's been tiring & difficult, frustrating. It's a prep for competition season. . .

& yet, I can't give up. Not now. Not when everyone looks up at me and expects the best. & I am trying, I've given my all. Sometimes it's not enough & of course there will be people pushing, trying to make me better, but sometimes it just explodes. You don't know what to do anymore. So you take a step back, think what the hell is going on, maybe even cry a little, & figure out how to move on. Life is all about moving forward and making each moment better than the last, although things may not always turn out as expected.

So as I have concluded, I have a voice, I have a purpose, I am hard on myself, & only for the benefit of my own self, I have 4 other girls who are going through the same situation, therefore I have mad love for them. I have to realize that there's a story behind every move I make, every step and turn I take, most importantly,
I can't forget why I dance, because I love it. No matter what happens.

Oh, I can't forget to mention that Christmas is 15 days away, Vegas is 8 days away,& my momma's birthday is 3 days away. Then 'Hello 2009.'

coldd.

weather.. hm.

BUSIEST WEEK EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
homework, this that, dance, practice, VARIETYSHOW, fun, sad, happy, frustrated, angry.
i am everywhere.


see you there.

december, remember?

its starting to look alot like Christmas!
& i'm sick, physically.
bahhhhumbug.

aww, i want to go to Disneyland .
It's always so pretty during the holidays..

So you

eat a turkey, turduckin, ham, or whatevvvvrs and you're thankful for what you have.

its what i did, with a sidedish of pmsing sister.
oh and i watched Twilight today and fell in love once again.
oh my family. oh my head.
oh the joy. oh the dread.

btwwhatever

happened to mk after fullhouse?

happyfriday.

redvspurple

7-56
i see so much pride in that.

well do you?

believe in horoscopes?
i don't think i should believe in them, but there's always something that makes me relate my personal experiences to my horoscopes.
& now im scared...
or maybe more nervous?

let see what

i can tell yoou about my life during the past few days in four minutes.

well my knee is killin me. We finished small military coreo today and its pretty awesome. I really really like the music we're using, its different. wayyy.
and i'm glad that glen is a new soloist coach because he's already a big help and ive only known him for a fairly small amount of time.

well, can you doubt something thats almost too sure? you want to, but you just can't because if you do, then everything will just asldkfj?? yeah. dont. huh.. i mean, this small hump on this long road will pass, just like all the others. each and every hump with a different tree right there to hit you in the face.

well, i believe am is leaving soon, and i feel really bad that i havent spent any time with her and alex. school has been literally taking over my life. im constantly doing homework and really havent had the time to spend with them. . sorry if you even read this amy. . . well. ill talk to them.

and are you okay? cause you dont seem okay??..

loveyouuuuuuuuxz.

haayyyy, i kid.

hey

its normal to break down at this point in highschool, right?
-floppy dead fishies are swimming along the bottom floor, trying to reach the top and you know what, eventually they will.

deciding what color dress to wear to homecoming already?? too early, but dresses are so prettayyy.

i think im pretty close to my left leg extension !

goodnight.

i saw

aj rafael todayyyyyyyy :D
alot of people did, and i was one of them.
it was pretty amazing; hes such an amazing singer/songwriter. oh my. got a picture and he signed my telefono. made my week, although my week was already made. haha

ive been living of troys for the past week, save me.

i liked this week oh so very much<3

adios amigos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do you know?

where your heart is?
now a days who does. We can just be a bunch of selfish teenagers falling on top of one another. Is it right , is it wrong? Do you know ?
Who knew you felt this way, who knew he felt that? See how i felt the whole long while, i wasn't going to feel that way the rest of my life.

growin pains

Tenth grade has hit me. Well it him me during the end of 6th period. hard. but thank God gabbie was there to help me. So i got my grades, and lets just say that they are a major disappointment to my mother and myself. My classes are so difficult. Juggling 3 honors and 1 ap class PLUS all my squads for drill team. It's definitely not the easiest thing, not at all. And I need to get my life together. I need to plan out homework sessions, sleep, me time, drill, and just organize everything. It may not do much, but its something. And I'm in desperate need of it. I just pray to God and am determined to improve on those tear jerkers.

So I'm pretty excited for the Halloween dance this thursday. I like planning and brainstorming ideas. At one point when I was a kid, I wanted to be an interior designer. I used to move furniture around and rearrange EVERYTHING by myself. I was inspired and bored. What a child I was.

Who knows where your going? Sometimes the best things in life take a little less than forever to find. Maybe my best is found. Maybe yours was lost. Maybe it wasn't your best to begin with. Maybe it wasn't mine. Get on, live on.

I love 24lb paper. <3

my own.

WOW. today is kinda like im finally free from my outcast streak of dos dias. All i did was homework ! i ve been consumed by alot of school work and quite frankly have only had stable contact with gabbie amberly and greta for the past few days.. And I'm pretty okay now..at least for now?

& So what do you do when you don't know what to do? When do you know when this much is tooo much? Well, I thought this debate between myself and i was over, and yet, it has been brought up, once more. Well, you think you know but you have no idea. no idea. lets get over this big hump and move a little bit faster.

"You will find deep and abiding changes are happening in the workplace. Don't fear or resist them as they are absolutely vital to sweeping you to a much more prosperous and happy position in the long term. Don't let yourself be bullied or guilted into taking on work you are not paid for. " my astrology..haha.

girl meets world. boy meets world. world meets world.

maybe i should say something.. welll. i really should be in bed . i only slept for like three hours yesterday. firsttime! and definitely not the last. sigh, highschool.


ilovebry!



freida.

i actually

did my math homework at home today, not during lunch or 4th period
And I completed it and felt like i understood everything!


feels good.
rally manana.
sure im excited.
peace.

hey

but nothings really fair when it comes to
ships.

crowded, but

you are what i want.

if thens and maybes.

had dance till 10pm today, for the past three mondays. & i can't wait till the soloist sleep over :DDD. amberlezzy, greta, iris, atina, and i needed to plan this stuff out so we can make it final! so i did my modeling today, three sections down. its pretty okay, i just really want to have a good shot at winning something at miss cal. :)

Well, last week was pretty darn hectic with school. This quiz, that test, that essay, alsdfjlasj, but on friday, when we went to go see Azad's military graad in SD, wow that was amazin. It's hard to explain and appreciate, i guess. All that history, discipline, respect, and handsomeness. PHEW.

So lately, I've been reading a book called "Exit Here," and its a pretty weird book. Its not exactly my type of book, and yet I keep wanting to keep on reading.. cause it kinda really makes me think. Think about life and people, and about the depth in everything. I can see changes in everything and I just feel like i understand my surroundings better than I used to. girls will be girls, boys will be boys, people will talk, people will think they know, but actually, they don't have a clue, people will smile then roll eyes. everythinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
hmpf.

And I can't help to think that you yourself have changed a little. In ways, I miss the old you, but then again youre not even a new you. Never want to loose you cause everytime I think about loosing you and you, I can't help but cry. Love you
girllllllz.


Hey, sometimes you just gotta play the game of life, but then again, why not just live it?

coco

nuts.

had dance class in the mornin`, kinda pulled some muscle in my thigh, the inside part of my thigh, its not my quad, more like my hamstring? well, i need to let it heal, fast fast fast. oh please :/

then i went to portos with my mommma and ksy, ate some good grubbb :D
and once again, made ksy a little less deprived of restaurants. haha!
then i went home and just ended up reading the book pow pow let me borrow a while back.wow, i still have many borrowed books, gotta give em back.

So i read for liike an hour? then i ended falling asleep on the floor in my room for like three hours... it was weird cause i would wake up a little, then go back to sleep. happened three times, and i had three weird dreams...

And today is my grandmas birthday. i havent seen her in FOREVER. like many years have passed sincee she left to live in the Philippines. I can't help but miss having her around at times. i almost cried talking to her on the phone.. telling me how big ive grown and pretty like her . haha. man that woman <3

tomorrow, is homework day. i needed today to rest cause freaking ap euro killed me the past few days and i left the football game last night all sick and crappy. lasdjf. feel bettahhhhhhhh. love you.

- heroes or thieves?
you choose.

hola mis amigos

or stalkassssss.

well what a today today was .
so apparently i slept through three of my alarms. my mom, my phone, and my alarm clock. i woke up at 6:52 and jumped outta bed brushed my teeth, washed my face, and told my dad to get up on outtt.
got to school and had gymnastics, and guess what , i found out i was on my rag. . . then i found at i was on varsity small military !!! WOOOTTTTTT. then i figured that things would look up from there, but still what a day. i had cramps the whole day, and a math test. ahjskldfj, i am soooo bad at listening for directions and reading them i swear! its getting me extremely agitated.

i can't believe how far ive gotten. like i came to ghs, and joined the dance team thinking i would quit after the first year, but despite what everyone says about it, im still down for it. i want it to be a part of my school days, and know that dancing is actually apart of me, whether it be military, lyrical, or hiphop. ive grown in all of them. pat on the back.

soooooo, now i have to do alla my ap euro stuffffffffffffff.
peace out lantas.

Benoit.

did homework today with mis amigos.
we were actually productive and had a little fun.

I'm freaking out about my ap euro bookreport, ahaklsjfd!
I hope I have it all planned out correctly.
Schools still sinking in, but im dealing.

Till then my dear lovers, WUTHERING HEIGHTS here i come.

i wish

"My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again and even if I'm there,
they'll all imply that I might not last the day
and then you call me and it's not so bad
it's not so bad and

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is giving me the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through
then you handed me a towel and all I see is you
and even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue
because you're near me and

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is giving the best day of my life"




and when that day comes, for once ill be sure of things.

hey you.

schools a pain, and i have to get used to everything, once again.
my teachers are ehhhhhh, but ill manage.

pac invite was sweeeeeet. cute guys. dennys. scary stories.
:]]]


so maybe the coats finally off its rack and off to other great places. ..



night sweet peas , dance tomorrow.

getawayyyyy.

soo..

one more blog about the summer..


It was practically the worst summah ever.
- I hardly got to seee my two best girlfrands.
- I took Chemistry during summer school which was helll .
- Stupid drama that i learned from.
- Guy problems
- Only ONE week of break
Doesn't sound that horrible but experience three months of it and it is.

Well, luckily this summer ended on a brighter note than it began with.


Schools here, and I am actually content with my classes; as well as the people in them. Its going to get pretty intense, fo sho.

well, maybe this whole cycle of me and you is coming to an end, like it always does.

echoes

never get old.


SO, havent blogged in quite a while..

Summers coming to an end.. It started out lame, got LAMER, and now its fine. :)
I got a decent amount of fun out of it and a good share of lesson learned. Move on, live on, get on, skip on, run on.


Well, rewinding... Camp was fun. I say the choreographers where great, except there wasnt that wide a variety of dances. Took two hip hops and a lyrical, got superiors & an 'anthony'. :] Got top ten with my fellow homies. Then I got chosen overall dancer. It was nice to know that I'm not as bad as I used to think I was at hiphop and lyrical. I'm getting there.. hah.

As of now I've completed all my ap euro maps,aprox. 1/4 of each of my books, 1/7 of my notes. and thats it . GOTTA BUST A MOVE. and now i know i cant concentrate at kevins house. idk why. last time we did work at my house, and badabing badaboom . we actually did accomplish things.. at least at the homework level.

Speaking of kevin, that boy has been fucking weird these past what three days , ksy? Like serious shit . Yelling out the WEIRDEST THINGS AND MAKING THE WEIRDEST NOISES. Mirroring me.. mannnnnn. Smell like his chrome. IS DAT CHO MODER. or something along the lines of that.

Plannin out the few days left of summahhhhhhhh.
so far got
wed- house bunny, hw, chillin with girls? idk
thurs- sams party
friday- six flagssssss
saturday- luau

i wonder if i gained any weight this summer, i mean practice helps me maintain that good stufffff. so hmm. What a summer. Hello new year.


Lifes good. hows yours?

nevahh.

forevah.

don't know babe?

schools almost here, summers almost gone.
that stage where you want to go to school, but you dont want summer to end is creeping around.

forgot what i was gunna say bout you.
whatevvvvvvs.

till tomorrow.

endddd.

"Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting." -Theodor Geisel

aren't we all waiting? waiting on things to change, the mail to come, the rain to fall, the plants to grow, for people to come, for people to go? All changes, whether we like it or not.

of michael phelps' 2008 olympics today. EIGHT FUCKING GOLDS!!!!! 7 WORLD RECORDS. Simply amazing, astonishing, speechless. THAT man. It was like watching man walk on the moon for the first time ever. History.

Well, I've been searching for possible solo songs, and man am i tired of hearing all these SONGS!! i want something fast, yet slow, yet something meaningful . im coming pretty close, and im really happy that i even have a solo to begin with.. :] nevah give up.

WEll, this whole day my pupils were dilated after having an eye exam. Couldn't see crap and it all gave me a headache.If im mistaken, my eyes are getting worse? so much for being far sighted and having astigmatism . Chilled with homeboys cause i have essentially nothing else to do. Watched 'ASHLYM'. yeah.

Well, it doesn't seem like much. I can see the difference, but somehow i still see the past lingering in the present. What's going on now, will it go on later? For once, I'm quite satisfied with alla this. No idea. I guess its fine to live life not knowing where you're going, maybe just for a little bit.

'fog-kissed valleys ' and betting with ma boys.

goodnight world.

sit

ting down watching the Olympics,eating Java Chip ice cream. What an addiction. Seriously, the Chinese and their amazing diving skills, and all the other divers' sickled feet, michael phelps michael phelps michael phelps michael phelps michael phelps michael phelps michael phelps michael phelps !!, gymnastics not as good as it used to be. Amazing ass athletes. I need to see all of this with my own two eyes next Olympics, I'll be old enough to go on my own anyway.

Well, today wasn't so great. My cat is in kitty heaven and, oh,only he knows how much I'll miss him. And i didnt get to hang out with amy, after plannin and plannin . :p
Well after what happened to both of us, I guess it was bettah to not go out.


MM, bye.

love

his quotes.
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
-Theodor Geisel


damn , damn. Whatta summahhhhh!? haha.

1. Be careful who you trust.
2. Sometimes, its better to just to lock up our mouths and throw away the key.
3. True bestfriends stick, no matter what kinda shit you both go through, no matter whatever the fuck you guys disagree on.
4. I need to make myself a 'Bucket List'
5. I shouldn't have cut my long hair . ;[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
6. Need to realize real lies.

ordinary

not so much. finished two ego waffles, watching so you think you can dance finale.. but, i have some people to highlight.

Alex Portobanco: since the 6th grade, tons and tons of letters, some pointless ones that make me laugh. The girl i can not see in weeks , then suddenly reconnect with. Proof that i'll love her no matter what. A true best friend since the day i met her.

Amaris Jacobs: We've gone through sooooooooooooooo much. We've dealt with all the shit thrown at us, and somehow, we'll always pull through; whether it takes hours or months. As frustrated and angry we get at each other, that hump will be jumped over eventually. I love this girll toooo much to let her go.No matter what we disagree on, what we agree on.. what we believe is right, what we believe is wrong. We've had the best ups and worst downs together. Shes taught me tons and i love her for not giving up on our friendship. Forest green, hippies, hotdog and banana, and all that other good stuff.<3

Kevin Velasquez: THIS BOY. this boy ... since the 4th grade. I would have never imagined he would mean THIIIIIIS much to me, not in million years. Hes the macaroni to my cheese..cheese to my macaroni, same shit. He makes me cry , vice versa. And true hes put me through practically hell this summer, but I just hope that he actually processes everything i tell him. Please don't change anymore. I already love you, if thats not enough then i REALLY dont know. hateyou.

Sure I've felt like I'd lost them at one point in time, but when you feel real friendships like these, you'll never truly lose them. Hope to God. man i love you guys, sheeeesh.

so you

think you can dance?
season finale!!

man , today was intense. practice from 8-2, gymnastics 3-4, dance 4-6. im sore, and i love it. haha. plus my switch leap was pretty today . its all good.

so, im not so sure anymore. things to personal for a blog.

You can

have your ups and you can have your downs.
just a little writing wont hurt..

Nothings fair now a days. . Why is it that there are always more wrongs than rights? Like when you take a test, theres only one correct answer and all the rest are wrong. There are so many ways to tie a shoe, but in the end, theres always that one correct way to actually tie those two suckers together. . So is it so that theres only SUPPOSED to be one right way? but now we all find ways to cheat it. so that theres more than one right answer. . but then that makes everything unfair, not right. Kay, so conclusion: for things to be fair , there should only be one way to that One answer. If all possible answers were right,then we'd all score 100s on tests .. amd it wouldn't be fair. It all makes sense if you think hard about it. .

Sure, not every day is going to be happy-go-lucky for me , or you.& I'm not going to be in denial about how life isn't perfect. And I could just stop here, and say, "what am I doing wasting my time on just 'juan'?" Wtf. But, idk , maybe i have to think it over. . .

-nina.

wait.

instead of bitching about how everything is fucked up,
why not say what im glad about? better off.


im thankfulfor
- having eyes, ears, and a mouth that all fully function
- for not having difficulties communicating with the world; not being REALLY REALLY LOST without having fault.
- for having food.
- for having friends who really do care about me. like really . really.
- a mom that bitches at me, but for the better.
- cats who snuggle up against me when they no im not okay.
- music , meaningful music. not that young money crap.
- amaris jacobs and paulo bautista.
welll yeah.

42%

loaded of the 'music video' ksy, kquez , and i created while walking to my house.

so, today was yet another slightly regular day. it was quite scary at the end, and im still a little freaked out. AHahsgds. mannnnnnnnnnn.



but today ended up fun, cause i havent had a productive hang out with kquez in forevah.
and things are going fine. kinky & cool AND obsessive & possessive .
what a fine match! man the books at urbn are so damn interesting. never be too far into maturity, never be too close to immaturity ma homeboys; a lesson we are all learning.


practice 8-1 tomorrow, but v girls are participating at a carwash for disabled children i believe. sounds quite interesting .
then idk what to do after practica. probably going to be sore and hungry. and i need to bring my books to practice, but i doubt ill have time to read or anythang.


60% loaded!

white

tards!
haha, sam, ksy, atina, and i, wearing all white shirts and black bottoms going on an adventure to steph boons casa to get contracts.

so the day started with watching those lifetime movies. then i decided to go to the americana with powpow cause i had nothing to do. We got to barnes and noble and spent forever in there reading and exploring. i finally bought wuthering heights for ap euro -.- . sam and ksy came, ate sansai. then atina came and pow pow left.

so its was pretty fun on the way to boons. if you ever pass by the freeway try playing a game where you have to jump over all the cars that will pass under the bridge if you get what im saying. its hilarious . hahahaha.
well we did all this other funny crap . :] man i love them.

so i dont know what im doing today, i think im going to read ma Booooooks. i was so tempted to buy new moon but i couldnt cause i have a whole bunch of other books that i HAVE to read .. man.

igottagohomenow.

life matters

so, who knew that you could learn so much in one day?

went to the beach and bonded with my/amberly's rank. was cute, fun, and funny.
now a days, i barely go in the water cause we go soo often. so you kinda loose the whole fun of it. but when we go in three weeks again, it'll mean more cause of the break from it.

so, i figured, you never know until you ask. If a friend is bothered by you, if your not talking.. yeah. And usually, the little things you do can mean alot to someone, and it doesn't hit until you ask or your told. sorry s&h.. on the other hand, i've seen a whole new side of someone. the sentimental side? i have no idea. All i can say is that lack of communication won't get you far. Just trust the people you talk to. That way, you'll eventually end up on the same page and things will start to make sense. And for once, I know something that's going through your head and now, I see more to you. Well I believe what you said, so don't forget any of it.


So schools done and yayyyyyyyy, two weeks of hell week and camp.
Better than school don't you think.

going to chill with pow pow today, then idk .
peaceeasy

too bad soo bad

last day of summmer school, passed the class with an 'A'. its all good.

so around 8 , i ran moyse stadium with ksy and did some curl ups and legs stuff.
then after i ate in n out. what the ???????! what a contradiction i am to my own self right there.

so, i have reached the end of my crisis. whats done is done. moving on and forward. all grudges are left behind and all of that stuff. when it comes to all the bad ive seen and felt, its there but never forgotten. so whatever. im over all the immatureness, including my own. seriously now.

there's someone whos very important in my life who defines what i really mean by 'bff.' its fucking crazy how alex has been there throughout everything; times when i was wrong, times when i was right... the best advice giver. she might be different in your eyes, but to me shes an inspiration, shes the wise one, shes a dingleberry, wow. i love her soooooo much, and no matter what , irregardless she'll always be my bestfriend. so even when we're old and don't know what the hell is going on, she'll be the one ill tell my kids about. we know that it'll be harder cause we won't see each other that often, but heck, ill make the effort anyway. i hope we can make it happen bff... "/



beach tomorrow, one hue darker, here i come.



well, somethings are just meant to be kept to myself.


some arent.
borat & amy winehouse
GOJEOUS

paper planes

made of trident wrappers.

so summer school ends tomorrow. what a relief! my summer officially starts? haha, wow. well, i did my project, and i'm not that satisfied, but it's ec so whatevssss. i just hope i reviewed enough to get an okay grade on the final. i mean i understand all the chapters. But still,God please help me tomorrow.

finally, a performance, i missed the adrenaline rush of dancing. It's only a small varsity section, and i get to do a section of coed with baby daniel! :D<3 im stoked even though he is extremely tired by the coed part. ill have to control him, instead of him controlling me. aye ya yae. its okay, hes too cute.


well, my cat . . he's sick. and i feel incredibly sad when i see him. i swear i love my cats sooooooo much. ughhhhhhhh.man.


and just when i decide to talk it out, it doesn't seem like its worth talking out. and for the first time, i really feel like i'm past it. my heart doesn't race anymore. wow. its not like it was before. but i figure, you grow to understand things more when you talk so.. ill do so. i guess..


good-a-night-a.

in n out

went there with ksy and janey.
tastes superrr good cause i havent had it in foreva.

thank you for breaking me .
thank you for making me.
thank you for hating me.
thank you for loving me.
thank you for trusting me.
thank you for backstabbing me.
thank you for leaving me.
thank you for caring.
thank you for not caring.
thank you for being there for me.
thank you for talking about me.
thank you for not trusting me.
thank you for showing me what true colors are.
thank you for much more than you think.


need to do chem proyecto!!

Oatmeal

is my favorite. if you had to choose between oatmeal that has always been there to comfort you and salsa who's a fun little treat, what would you choose?

Escuela was okay, the whole earthquake was pretty intense. Most of the kids in my class were in panic and at the same time cracking up at the whole thing. My teacher was preetty funny, but the fact that we all knew what to do was pretty cute as saber tooth says. :]

anyway, i had a pretty good day. :]

things are looking up in some sense. not all the way up but somewhere near the level where planes fly. i guess things won't change if you keep to yourself all the time.


classic fatasses

school is done in 2 days. woohooooooooooooooooooooo.

shes fat

wrong connotation !
oh mama!

sigh.
missed


this was the day of the middle school track meet. That day alex cussed sam misa out for raiding her bag and almost punched him. We kept on cheering for the rms kids, this amazing girl who had a unibrow i believe, and i think xochil ?!? haha! they actually kicked some gluteus maximus. We went on the field and did headstands and posed for ksys camera a million times too many times. Then we went to the flashing lights dance after marci found me a ticket and alex got in for free. hahaha. Some guy asked alex to dance and she was how do you say, pretty funny about it. Then stevo gave me a ride home that night and everything was swell. i still love the twoo of them fyi.





this was some day after school, and obviously we had just won at Nationals, cause we are both wearing our backpacks ; i still have my tan wrist band on here, which took me about 2 months to cut off cause i was forced to by mrs sheldon -.-
kevin's hair was still long and so was mine . i miss mine . i don't think he misses his . . i don't see why he would. and at this time, i swear we were infinite.


just kidding :]


big tards!
haa

logos

i didn't like today . Schools going by slower and slower.
Practice isn't the same, even though it was kinda promised to be.
I'm emotionally and physically tired.

Brys at mi casa doing some scrabooking thing, ' im lost without you' HAHA.
highest point of my day :p

so, im concluding , and my conclusions are good enough for me babe.

au revoir.

your easy like sunday mornin

or a trophy boy.
woke up quick at about ten, washed my face then ate a bowl of apple jacks.
turned on the computer, my sims crashed :( fudgeeeeee.

well, ive been talking to tony alottttttt lately. His talks are pretty interesting and helpful.. well, i've come to realize alot of things about these past few weeks. ive gone from lovin to hating and all around. its pretty crazy to think of all the people ive lost, and all the others ive gained. in this pretty messed up world, only trust your self and if you screw yourself over, then you have noone to get mad at but yourself and your conflicts are all what, between you and only you. and apparently everythang happens for a reason .

&

well, i don't know mmm anymore. and there really isnt anything i can do anymore, cause ive tried so hard.
sorry to say but i think i take back the 'ill love you no matter what', cause its all gone too far.

its time to pursue my new self resolution .
peace outt butter cup.

i will work for

moneyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!
so gimme a yab, turns out i found my facking blogger account info thanks to some smelly egyptian boy.
you know what .
ksy needs a yab too. and bryan.
die down little pussycattttttttttt.
:D

hellogoodbye sunday.

woke up this morning at around ten ? it was pretty late, but i need sleep considering the fact that i hardly get any sleep during freaking weekdays. -.- then when i was awake awake, played some sims but got quite bored of it. . . basically i stayed home the whole day watchin movies, which i never do. i don't think today was a big waste though haha.

so at first i watched kill bill 2? or whatever, but it was lame so i was like whatever, then 10 things i hate about you came on, watched some of it, then some hick beauty pageant movie with kirsten dunst, then harry potter and the goblet of fire.
i'm kinda sad that i stopped reading the series of hp and how i never watched the fourth until today. its officially my favorite. and not to mention that i can't wait for twilight to hit theaters cause cedric diggory is DAYUMM!!! haha

well i had a pretty okay day just chillin at home. mmm. i miss your smell. really bad.

goodnighttt.

LEGIT-JOSHIN!

HAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LITERALLY.
today was a swell day.
so woke up, blah blah blah.
then went to the mall with my sister who bought me some crazy eyeshadow kit from sephora, shes getting my sister and me totally into all this makeup stufff, but i only do the eyestuff, so no cake face hur.

well met up with ksy and gabbie, talked and talked for like two hours, then ksy and i went to the americana to shop. i bought some shirt from urbn and he got something from xxi , typical stuff. so we chilled more, basically bonded. then i met up alex and amaris cause i felt like i needed to and most def wanted to! they ate and we just talked about life.. 'DUDE THIS PLACE IS TOTALLY LEGIIIIIIIITTT!!!'
crazy stuff that i really really really needed.
..rekindled the point of having girl bffs!!!<3 we had the bestest banana and nutella crepes in the world, HEAVEN ON EARTH! [besides jh]
we were on a hyper streak for about an hour , got free pinkberry from mark ignacio...
uhhh. kept on talking and laughing. seriously , i havent had an up like this in forevahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

so alex talked to me and basically i wasn't afraid to say what i had to say about the way i feel!! wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. felt good. and the funny thing is she didn't just laugh and stare at me like i would expect her to, she took it srsly and gave advice, which i will mos def take.

oh one thing ill do is keep my dignity, cause trust i am not goin to turn cruel or insane or whatevvvvvs.

i hope you had a great dayyy :]


|
V
V
V

self explanatory.

p.s. if you ever get the chance, you should meet alex's grandma, if youre lucky she'll call you little princess!!
whatta cutie hahaha.

red white and blue

i forgot to say happy fourth of julyyyyyyy!

:]
goin to go watch fireworks with my fam,
with a dying phone.
bahhhhhhhh.

hope you all got tanned and
eat alot of watermelon, or something like that.

11:11

i hope 11:11 wishes come true .
half the time they do, which encourages me to keep on wishing, i mean
it doesnt hurt, so duh.

well ive found a new love. :]
these cute ass ball point pens from target,
i write so nice with them, at least better than my usual ugly writing, which is neat according to bry.

well, fresh start. ill try to forget, cause im done..
for now?

goodnight, sleep tight.

STILL NOT DONE WITH CHEM HW!!!



and i really like writing about random to important stuff on this thing, plus i love the colors on the blog. haaaaaaaa.


and btw, meet my sister, who's as obnoxious as i am, only eight years older!!
FINALLY UNIVERSITY!
congratulations today is her day , just kidding shes applying in october.
hahahaha

i will work for love

or will i not?call me crazy but, i lost the love i had...so who knows now a days.


well today was ksy's birthday :]
yesterday bryan and kquez came to my house to bake for him, but ksy knew cause i accidentally told him we were going to kquez's house to get cake mix, but i told him to act surprised, and i guess he really was surprised cause there were little twists to his day. I hope we [his close friends and bestfriends!] made his day special, cause i know he hasn't had one that has been very special in a looong time. I really hope I helped make it better foCHU`! :] haha, i think he's officially one of my best friends !

anyway, you know its incorrect grammar to say 'anyways' haha according to mr. guzman , says alex.

well i'm sick and tired of everything that has to do with what i've been going through the last few weeks. Who knew that people are that indecisive ? Out of all of this I grew to become angry, disappointed, and frustrated with myself and others. I have gone from loving to hating to loving to not giving a damn shit anymore. And frankly he doesn't know what he wants, which is why i'm giving up cause you can't go anywhere without knowing where your going. and i'm glad that i have someone like amaris who truly helps me differentiate what i believe is the truth and what the real truth is. I have made decisions and for now i'm following that and not my heart cause if i follow my heart then, that, that would be not beneficial for you. or would it? who knows. whatever. i'm really sad that things had to happen, but whatever, you gain some you loose some. it's going to be hard but it's what i have to do, or do i? well prove me wrong and ill change my mind..

and that paragraph isnt supposed to make sense to the whole world fyi .

well chemistry is like a little dose of harassment but its going by faster and faster. :p bahhhhhhhhhh.

peace buttertoast.


P.S. thanks for doing what you did, i know EVERYTHING